Oh the work is loading today. Its not just loading it is so damn boring simultaneously. On top of it there is this annoying TV serial in which one visibly cruel lady wants to do all the bad things in the world to a lot of people around her who can't deliver a dialog well. (May be they deserve it!)
I badly wanted to laugh and started browsing for quotes by comedians. I tried Jim Carrey, but then I remember Seinfeld. How could I forget him. And boy did I laugh! Here are a few of his!
- I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?
- Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
- Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
- Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?
- Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
- You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles."
But this is the best one! I was just laughing with tears fill I can't bear the cramps in my stomach!
"I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."