What made me laugh today!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Good-bye! ..and good-riddance
After a really boring day of (not so much) work, I turned to my colleague next cube and told her..
"Komura-san! Tsumaranai desu!" (Its so boring!)
She laughed heartily at the my sudden stupid grimace and the surprising appropriate usage of Japanese. Then as if she remembered something abruptly got and walked to Sato-san, to who I report here in Japan. My heart-skipped a beat,
"Oh Crap! Now I am going to get fired from my company, while on-site".
After a few seconds of silent conversation, Sato-san walked over to me and said, "We are organizing a party this evening to invite the new employees, you want to join?"
I grinned!
Within the next half-an-hour, I found myself in a party hall among a lot of people who looked the same, yet individually familiar, all roaming around with a glass of one kind of alcohol or the other. I found an exclusive table of vegetarian, well.. vegetables.. and started monopolizing the table convinced that none come anywhere near this table. I mean who is going to say "Mmmm! That is a really appetizing broccoli!" and walk up to pick one? So, I dutifully started emptying broccoli's with nothing better to do! (of course watching the ladies was always there, but isn't it understood?)
But as time passed by, the alcohol began to take over the crowd and I could spot a few people walking around and smiling foolishly for no apparent reason. And then the nightmare began. One of my colleagues from our managerial cadre walked up to the table and started surveying But I guess he wasn't drunk enough, so the contents of the table didn't impress him. Trying not to expose the fact that he was just fooled by a table of vegetables, he started started talking to me in Japenglish, and somehow found that I am actually an interesting person to talk to!
At one point of time, he suddenly steered away from the business-related topic we were talking about and said
"You look young! Are you single?"
Consider the question for a second, what made him ask "Are you single" instead of the conventional "Are you married?". I don't know and the fact is, I don't want to know!"...
I JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
In a vain attempt to extricate myself from the situation and slip the message across I said, "Ya, I am single, but I will probably get married soon!"
He gave a drunk and suggestive laugh, "He he he.. you are waiting to meet your girlfriend after going to your country.."
Relieved that "I-am-not-gay" the message is sent across, I laughed in equal footing "He he he..yeaaa"
"So what is the name of your girlfriend?"
"ummm..."
(Damn it, I don't have a girlfriend! and why the hell don't I remember the name of a god-damn girl...? Brinda, Shweta, Maya.. crap they are all too close to me to use as my girlfriends, ya I can lie consistently..but I feel its morally...screw morality man...this Samurai is kicking your ass all over the place....)
"umm.."
(What was name of the last girl who said no to your marriage...bingo....!)
"RAMYA"
He looked at me awkwardly wondering why I was yelling.
"Lamya?", he confirmed
"Ya Lamya"!
"What is she doing?"
"She is working as a HR in a different city!" (No one can ever suspect that to be a lie! About 90% of the girls do that job!)
"You should bring your girlfriend to Japan! It is a good place!"
(what are you interested in my girlfriend now?)
"Sure! May be in my next visit"
"I need to fill up more wine, nice meeting you"
Good-bye" (..and good-riddance)
"Komura-san! Tsumaranai desu!" (Its so boring!)
She laughed heartily at the my sudden stupid grimace and the surprising appropriate usage of Japanese. Then as if she remembered something abruptly got and walked to Sato-san, to who I report here in Japan. My heart-skipped a beat,
"Oh Crap! Now I am going to get fired from my company, while on-site".
After a few seconds of silent conversation, Sato-san walked over to me and said, "We are organizing a party this evening to invite the new employees, you want to join?"
I grinned!
Within the next half-an-hour, I found myself in a party hall among a lot of people who looked the same, yet individually familiar, all roaming around with a glass of one kind of alcohol or the other. I found an exclusive table of vegetarian, well.. vegetables.. and started monopolizing the table convinced that none come anywhere near this table. I mean who is going to say "Mmmm! That is a really appetizing broccoli!" and walk up to pick one? So, I dutifully started emptying broccoli's with nothing better to do! (of course watching the ladies was always there, but isn't it understood?)
But as time passed by, the alcohol began to take over the crowd and I could spot a few people walking around and smiling foolishly for no apparent reason. And then the nightmare began. One of my colleagues from our managerial cadre walked up to the table and started surveying But I guess he wasn't drunk enough, so the contents of the table didn't impress him. Trying not to expose the fact that he was just fooled by a table of vegetables, he started started talking to me in Japenglish, and somehow found that I am actually an interesting person to talk to!
At one point of time, he suddenly steered away from the business-related topic we were talking about and said
"You look young! Are you single?"
Consider the question for a second, what made him ask "Are you single" instead of the conventional "Are you married?". I don't know and the fact is, I don't want to know!"...
I JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!
In a vain attempt to extricate myself from the situation and slip the message across I said, "Ya, I am single, but I will probably get married soon!"
He gave a drunk and suggestive laugh, "He he he.. you are waiting to meet your girlfriend after going to your country.."
Relieved that "I-am-not-gay" the message is sent across, I laughed in equal footing "He he he..yeaaa"
"So what is the name of your girlfriend?"
"ummm..."
(Damn it, I don't have a girlfriend! and why the hell don't I remember the name of a god-damn girl...? Brinda, Shweta, Maya.. crap they are all too close to me to use as my girlfriends, ya I can lie consistently..but I feel its morally...screw morality man...this Samurai is kicking your ass all over the place....)
"umm.."
(What was name of the last girl who said no to your marriage...bingo....!)
"RAMYA"
He looked at me awkwardly wondering why I was yelling.
"Lamya?", he confirmed
"Ya Lamya"!
"What is she doing?"
"She is working as a HR in a different city!" (No one can ever suspect that to be a lie! About 90% of the girls do that job!)
"You should bring your girlfriend to Japan! It is a good place!"
(what are you interested in my girlfriend now?)
"Sure! May be in my next visit"
"I need to fill up more wine, nice meeting you"
Good-bye" (..and good-riddance)
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